SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE (1999)

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Elizabeth

For over 10 years now, from the time I first saw the movie as a 12 year old, whenever someone brings up “the worst movie,” the very first thing I think of is Simply Irresistible. Why? For a singular reason that no one who hasn’t seen the movie believes: it’s about a magical crab.

Yes, Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a chef, Amanda, who can’t cook, but for some reason is the cook in her dead mother’s long-standing restaurant. Her lack of abilities threatens to close the restaurant until she runs into a slightly flamboyant, slightly magical man at a market with a basket of crabs he convinces Amanda to buy, even though she doesn’t know how to cook crab and she seemingly doesn’t have the kind of money it takes to buy a basket of crab. Within the basket is a rogue crab who gets out and crawls away, causing Amanda to chase it on her own hands and knees (had she done this in a crab walk, the movie would be infinitely better) until she reaches the foot of Tom (Sean Patrick Flanery), whom the crab bites. They talk and it’s boring. She goes back to the restaurant and the crab somehow gets himself on a top shelf in the kitchen and from there he wields his magic crab powers with nothing more than a lift of his claw. The crab makes Amanda an amazing cook, which no one seems to question, makes Tom’s girlfriend walk out on him, and somehow orchestrates Tom and Amanda falling in love, which they do, after about 2 dates.

Also: Tom is obsessed with paper airplanes, Amanda’s restaurant is a silent, apartment-like atrocity, AND THERE’S A FUCKING MAGICAL CRAB. I cannot emphasize this point enough. The driving force behind all of the action in the story is a magical crab.

A++++!!!!

Christopher

Simply put this is the greatest worst movie I have ever seen. It is far superior to Troll 2 and if you are at all interested in terrible film, please do yourself a favor and check it out.

The film is about Sarah Michelle Gellar and how a magic crab helps her become a great cook? And she falls in love with a millionaire for no real reason? And the crab was delived to her by an angel that was sent by her dead mother?

One of the greatest things about this movie, which was pointed out to me by Elizabeth, is that it’s a combination of my two favorite shows. In one corner is Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and Lawrence Gilliard Jr., D’Angelo Barksdale (The Wire). Gilliard plays Geller’s sous chef and top many times during the film I just wanted him to send his Uncle in to exterminate everyone on set. I also just imagine that it must have been pretty quiet on set, everyone just knowing that Gellar’s film career was taking a very dramatic and abrupt end.

I have never been the best at describing movies or shows that I am extremely fond of so I think it’s the best that I end this post with just a simple, “ PLEASE SEE THIS FILM.”

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