A TALKING CAT!?! (2013)

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A Talking Cat!?! is about a cat that thinks in English quite often, and talks to humans in English sometimes, but he never talks to the same person more than once. I don’t know why he has this rule, or if it’s an imposed rule over his power of speech, but it doesn’t matter because he’s voiced by Eric Roberts and sounds almost-passed-out drunk for the entire movie.

There’s a retired millionaire, his weirdly gay but not gay son who acts like he’s 10 but is supposed to be 17, a caterer who makes her daughter make all her food, her daughter’s twin who serves no purpose than to teach the 10/17 year old boy how to swim and almost have sex with him in the pool (this part is implied – but HEAVILY implied).

Obviously this movie is terrible, rendered nearly unwatchable by its truly awful sound and its use of the same establishing shots over and over. But I think my favorite element of the movie is when the cat, Duffy, gets hit by a car. Now, obviously, I want nothing to do with a movie in which a cat gets hit by a car, but considering Duffy is so incredibly unfazed, there’s really no reason to believe he ever even was hit by a car. The vet “makes him comfortable,” and when we see him post-accident, he’s just chilling out in bed, his fur looking perfect, his tail swaying, rolling over on his back, with some weird gauze on his face to indicate his injury. He actually just looks like a normal cat that’s annoyed by whatever the shit on his head is.

I’m not sure A Talking Cat!?! is barely even feature length, so I reallyyyy wouldn’t recommend even bothering.


The biggest complaint I have to say about A Talking Cat!?! is not that they got an overly flamboyant protagonist to play a girl-crazed teenager, it’s not that the dad could have easily been some kind of Make a Wish winner or even that the there was a theme of awful establishing shots. The biggest problem I had with A Talking Cat!?! is that there was not enough talking cat.

Yes he does talk and when he does they just overlap a black hole opening and closing but he only speaks to 4 or 5 characters each at most maybe a minute (You see, he has this rule about only being able to talk to the same person once). If they decide to film A Talking Cat!?!: Back to the Hustle, which I truly hope happens, they really need to amp up the cat’s presence.


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