It was nice to see another Lindsay Lohan movie. I think this movie was a little too complex for its own good. I consistently had no idea what was going on. This might have been because it was difficult to pay attention after some great Salvadoran food but I do feel like the movie redeems itself with its ridiculousness.
I Know Who Killed Me is painful to watch on many different levels:
- The super saturated blues and reds, which are SUPER SYMBOLIC, start to sort of hurt after an hour or so
- Gratuitous and gross Lindsay Lohan pole dancing (two scenes that I remember, both of which are super long)
- Gratuitous and gross Lindsay Lohan sex scene (also super long)
- Gory torture sequences
- Nonsensical plot
- The true beginning of the end of Lindsay Lohan’s film career, and that’s just sort of sad
I Know Who Killed Me manages to be utterly weird and predictable at the same time. There are elements of horror movie cliches: the serial killer is a character we met for a few minutes in the beginning and we never see or hear from him again; the predictable twist (because you know there’s a twist) comes with no surprise; the father is involved in some way, etc etc. But then there’s some really weird stuff, and not weird in a good way: Lindsay Lohan plays twins (again), as one twin gets tortured, the other one experiences weird twin-induced stigmata (so when Aubrey, the good twin, gets her leg finger cut off by the killer, Dakota, the bad twin, also loses her finger in the middle of a pole dance); the tone of the movie switches from horror to comedy to sexy movie without any warning or justification; and probably my favorite: in the end, Dakota figures everything out and somehow finds Aubrey, who has been buried alive. She’s still alive somehow and Dakota breaks her free (using her insane robot hand . . . kind of a long story) and instead of calling 911 or performing CPR or really doing anything that makes sense, Dakota just lays down on the ground with Aubrey . . . and then the movie ends. There’s an alternate ending on the DVD that cuts away from them laying on the ground to show Aubrey finishing up her story about two twins who get tortured, so the whole movie was all a shitty creative writing assignment. That ending would have been worse, but not by much.
I don’t know if this is really worth seeing, because even though there are really funny parts (especially anything to do with that crazy robot hand), but then really boring parts and really grisly parts, so it’s kind of a tossup. I was ready for the movie to end when it did.