THIS MOVIE IS GREAT. The film truly has no tension because you don’t care about any of the characters. Who really cares if everyone dies. But I think this movie is brilliant in its awful CGI, forgettable cast, and lack of a real story.

I do enjoy a good Cage film but I think this is the best one I’ve seen in a while.


There are about a million awful things that distract you from the awful story of Season of the Witch, but I think probably the worst offender is the fact that Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman, though credited as playing the characters “Behmen von Bleibruck” and “Felson,” respectively, they’re really just playing Crusader versions of NIcolas Cage and Ron Perlman. Not that I necessarily would want to hear Cage or Perlman attempt British accents, but the fact that they don’t even attempt accents and just sound like Americans fighting in the Crusades makes this movie seem like some sort of weird and awful time travel movie. Which actually would have been more interesting.

I think what Season of the Witch is supposed to be about is the plague (not sure if it’s THE plague that we all know and love or a made up plague for the movie) being caused by a demon that possesses women. Or something? All I know is, Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman play Crusaders who kill a shitload of people in a bunch of battles (thanks to a very extended montage of this), and then suddenly get a change of heart when they realize they killed women and children. Now, I’m not about to pretend to be any kind of scholar on the Crusades, but I have a feeling that this wasn’t a once-in-a-Crusades occurrence. But they’re such good guys! Or something.

I don’t know.

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