NATIONAL SECURITY (2003) – WITH SUPER SPECIAL GUEST POST!!

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We watched National Security with our friend Ben. Here’s what he had to say: 

I imagine that stuntmen have to be a pretty professional bunch since what they do requires so much precision, attention to detail, and general competence to avoid injury. Even in crappy movies, the stuntwork usually feels pretty seemless. I mean, I know that’s not really Shia Labeouf dangling from that giant hip-hop robot’s scrotum in Transformers 5, but I’m rarely taken out of the movie in such instances. So it felt really weird to notice all the stuntwork in National Security.

I’m a total know-nothing when it comes to stunts, but I was constantly distracted by the stunts in this movie. For example, early on a character jumps through a 2nd story window for no reason, and the man jumping through the window in no way resembles the human being we saw two seconds earlier (he doesn’t even seem to have the character’s trademark mustache!). I don’t know who’s to blame, but I imagine it’s probably the director’s fault for pointing the camera in the direction of the stuntman’s face in the first place. The other stunts in the movie are similarly weird, including a tensionless and bizarre door-swinging on-a-semi-on-a-freeway scene, and one with a random crane on a cliff face, which saves the day in the most predictable way possible. I didn’t expect much from National Security, but its total lack of care in the stunts, (or in any respect, really), must have been pretty insulting to the people who paid to see it in 2003.

Christopher

THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD! What I like and find interesting about this movie is how it’s changed in my mind from when it came out. I remember watching this movie in middle school and genuinely thinking that it was good comedy. Middle school was the time when I kind of based what I liked off of the people around me so it’s crazy to watch this movie as an adult and see how insane and weird it truly is.

This just came out on Netflix so if you had a bad day please let Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn melt away your troubles.

Elizabeth

When Chris told me he thought National Security might be the most unfunny and racist comedy he had seen, it was clear that I had to see it. And he really wasn’t exaggerating.

Martin Lawrence plays Earl, a cocky, racist asshole who commits perjury in order to imprison Hank (Steve Zahn). I’m not going to waste time going into details about that, but let’s just say there was a bee involved. Anyway, after Hank swiftly gets out of prison for whatever reason, he sets out to avenge the death of his partner at the hands of . . . a blond Eric Roberts? Luckily, Earl wants to get back at blond Eric Roberts, too, because he called Earl a monkey. I was so stunned that a white person called a black person a monkey in this movie AS A MOMENT OF COMEDY that I couldn’t pay attention at all for a few minutes. But don’t feel bad for Earl, as he continually is an awful, practically evil human being while Hank just sort of flails around, helpless and angry.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.

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