NATIONAL LAMPOON’S PLEDGE THIS! (2006)

parishiltongroupshot

Christopher

I have no idea how to talk about this movie. It’s so awful but for all t’s terribleness it’s extremely watchable. It has a bunch of boobs, awful jokes, and an actor that plays multiple characters but it’s never really explained. But the real star of this film is easily Paris Hilton.

Elizabeth and I have only run into Paris once on our movie experience (The Hillz) but I have to say we need to watch more! Her character in this movie is the main character, for some reason, but she also has a ton of voice overs. And if the film did not have those voice overs….you would have absolutely no idea who she was or why they kept filming her. I like to think that this happened because the director realized that Paris could not act and decided to just complete the story in post but……well yea I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.

Also, this movie is on Netflix.

Check it out!

Elizabeth

Recently I was asked how bad a movie would have to be for me not to see it. I said there was no limit, and to prove it we watched National Lampoon’s Pledge This!

What’s most interesting about Pledge This! is that it exists. I mean, just when you think about this movie and that it was conceived, financed, and created, it just sort of blows your mind. Paris Hilton is in it, though most of her dialogue is through voice-overs and we never see her speak. She plays a college student and sorority president who is also rich and very Paris Hilton-esque and in general an awful person (who makes pledges kiss her feet, orders people to be murdered and means it, etc). Simon Rex is in it, too, and if you don’t remember him then you didn’t watch enough MTV in the 90s. It’s implied that Simon Rex’s character is within the average 18-22 college student age range, but being 32 at the time and looking closer to 40 adds one more layer of disbelief to Pledge This! Simon Rex plays Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, whom she calls “Baby Dick” because he has a small penis. I’m going to go ahead and skip past the meanness factor and go straight for how disgusting it is that she uses the phrase “baby dick” in reference to her boyfriend’s penis.

Speaking of, there’s a scene in which Simon Rex wants a blowjob from Paris Hilton, so she has him close his eyes and she sticks her dog underneath the covers perform oral sex and, apparently from the sound effects, bite his penis, which he seems to love. This scene (which is really long) made me feel physically sick. Not even watching a Paris Hilton movie can prepare you for bestiality.

Pledge This! has female nudity but other than that I don’t know why anyone would try to see this movie. It’s great.

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