The title of this movie is I Don’t Know How She DOES It. I can give you answer before you even watch it, she DOESN’T!!! She’s a terrible mother cause she’s never there, she’s at work, but at work she’s a complete mess. I mean we really don’t see her actually work at all. She lives in Boston, I think, and at one part of the movie she has to fly to New York to work with the New York office of her company. So she’s there to work but what actually happens is that she begins to fall in love with Pierce Brosnan, even though she’s married to Greg Kinnear. Kinnear is the only charchter in this movie who is not a stereotype and seems like a cool guy. So her falling in love with Pierce Brosnan makes no sense but it really dosen’t matter cause everything about this movie is terrible and sad.
Since there is so much wrong with this movie I’m only going to talk about the worst sequence of it. So there is one part of the movie, pretty close to the beginning, where Sarah Jessica Parker comes home and her and her husband decide to have sex. While he gets “ready”, not sure what he’s doing exactly, she falls asleep, so he gets in bed, then it’s 4:00 (AM? PM?), then it shows her walking into her kids room to check on him, then she’s sitting in bed unable to fall asleep cause she has so much to do, all stuff she never actually does cause she can’t do anything, and then she falls asleep. I have absolutly no idea what time of day any of that happened, was there a whole day in between her falling asleep before sex and sitting in bed not being able to fall asleep?
This movie is bad and it’s worth watching. It also feels like it came out in the early ’90s; weird that it was within the last few years.
SPOILER ALERT: She doesn’t do it. That’s why you don’t know how she does it. What is “it” in this context? Anything. Let me explain: Sarah Jessica Parker plays Kate, a mother of two youngish kids with some kind of career that I can’t remember. The whole point of the movie is supposedly to show a capable, modern woman who is able to balance being a working mother. Except Kate sucks at being a mom, sucks at being a wife, and sucks at being an employee. The above picture shows Kate trying to get something together for her daughter’s bake sale. But because she’s a bustling career lady, she didn’t have time to bake a pie, and the bodega near her mansion didn’t have baking supplies, so instead she bought a pie pan and a pie and tried to make it look homemade. I have two issues with this: A.) She didn’t have a fucking pie pan? You don’t have to be Martha Stewart to have a pie pan. Come on. B.) If my experience as an aunt of a young niece and a friend to parents of young children has taught me anything, it’s that schools (especially fancy schools like that) don’t allow homemade food to be distributed or sold in the schools because you can’t be sure what’s in them. Maybe that’s not always true, but it just seems unrealistic.
So Kate is never home to see her kids. She’s too tired to have sex with her husband, Richard (Greg Kinnear), when she is home. So how is she at work? Oh, don’t worry, she sucks there, too. Now I’m really not in a position to judge someone because they’re clumsy, but there’s clumsy and then there’s someone who lacks certain motor and/or brain functions. If you’re sitting in front of a video camera, waiting for an important client to come on and talk to you, would you use that time to get up and start adjusting your clothes and tugging at yourself, so that the client will inevitably see this? Not if you have common sense. Unfortunately, this does not apply to Kate. It’s also worth noting that Kate constantly looks like she hasn’t washed her hair in several days. I don’t know a single person who is a parent, stay at home or not, who just never washes their hair. Skip a day or two, sure, maybe. But to the point where your greasy hair is distracting? This idea that working mothers don’t have time to wash their hair before work is pretty insulting.
And finally, let me tell you about the single most insulting and disturbing part of I Don’t Know How She Does It. Kate has a co-worker, Momo (Olivia Munn). Momo is presented to us a cold woman with no life because she works all the time. This is the first thing I find insulting. Just because Kate doesn’t know Momo outside of work and Momo works hard does not mean she doesn’t have a life. I work hard! I’m successful! I work long hours! And I have a pretty active and social non-work life. I also can’t imagine any of my co-workers assuming this about me, because who cares? But it gets even more insulting. Momo is not shy about not wanting kids. Even though this is a foreign concept to Kate and Kate is always ready to present reasons to Momo why motherhood is great, Momo just doesn’t want kids. But then, Momo gets pregnant. She wants an abortion, and is going to get an abortion. BUT KATE GUILTS HER INTO KEEPING THE BABY. WHAT THE FUCK. This offends me on a personal level, because I also don’t want children. Luckily, none of my friends or co-workers with children are awful or stupid enough to try to convince me that I should have kids. Also, this just makes no sense. If you love kids and being a mother, why would you convince someone who A.) Doesn’t want kids B.) Will be a single parent C.) Has not planned financially/emotionally for a child to keep a kid? Isn’t that maybe the exact person who should not have kids? I don’t get it. Fuck you, Kate. And wash your goddamn hair.