ELIZABETHTOWN (2005)

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Elizabeth

Well, I guess the bottom line of Elizabethtown is that it doesn’t really make a ton of sense and the main characters are awful. Orlando Bloom plays Drew, a shoe designer who has somehow lost his company $972 billion. How did he do this? All we know is he designed a shoe that is somehow flawed. Why is one man, a designer, taking all the blame for that kind of loss? And why is the company even losing that much? Don’t waste your time wondering these things, because you’ll never find out. Because of this, Drew wants to kill himself, but before he can, his dad dies and he must travel to Elizabethtown, Kentucky to get the body. Drew is the only passenger on the flight, and so his flight attendant, Claire (Kirsten Dunst), decides to sit with Drew and talk to him the whole time. Because I’m sure that’s what all flight attendants really want to do.

So Drew is really narcissistic and Claire is really annoying and possibly psychotic. But what might be the worst element of Elizabethtown is how much meaning it tries to have but totally fails at having. Instead of flying back to wherever he came from, Claire convinces Drew to take a solo (with his dad’s ashes) road trip. She makes Drew a giant present filled with mix tapes and maps and all kinds of cutesy shit. The most absurd moment is when Drew visits the place of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s assassination, for a really long time I might add, and has like, a total moment. Or at least that’s how I imagine we’re supposed to think of the situation. Why do we need to see this? We don’t. Which is pretty much what you can say about the entire movie.

Christopher

I was really excited to watch this movie! It became something that I wanted to see for a while, when it was added to Netflix and the fact that Elizabeth is in the name. It ended up being exactly what I was hoping for, pure shit. I didn’t realize how artsy it tried to be. I think I was expecting something along the lines of The Wedding Planner but instead I got a Garden State knockoff, another unbearably awful movie!

There are too many scenes in this film that make you cringe and feel embarrassed for everyone involved. I honestly don’t remember a ton though cause the movie is over two hours long and it was kind of difficult to pay attention to.

I say check it out but don’t expect it to keep your interest throughout.

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