First of all, do not see this movie. Instead, read Pete Collins’ original story that the movie is based on. If you insist on seeing this movie, read the story first. If you’ve already seen the movie, stop everything and read the story immediately.

Second of all, I really hope that the filmmakers behind Pain and Gain are completely ashamed of themselves. Imagine if you can that you were kidnapped. And that everything (everything) was stolen from you. And that you were tortured endlessly. And that your abductors tried to murder you by crashing you in a car, lighting you on fire, and running you over. But you survived all of that, despite crippling permanent physical and mental injuries, while your abductors went on to murder two people. Then imagine that your story was turned into a movie almost 20 years later. But in this movie, you are not the protagonist. In fact, you are made out to be a despicable character who got everything that was coming. Your abductors/torturers although shown as stupid, are also shown in a comic light, and 90% of the torture they instilled upon you is never once mentioned, and their story is laid out as one of guys just looking for “the American dream.” Fuck that, right? Well, that’s what happened to Marc Schiller (in the movie he’s Victor Kershaw and played by Tony Shalhoub). Can you even imagine how terrible that would be?

So yeah. the real life people that Mark Wahlberg, The Rock, and Anthony Mackie play in Pain and Gain kidnapped a man, stole everything he had, tortured him, tried to murder him, left him for dead, and then later murdered another couple. Why? Because they could and because they were greedy. I feel like Michael Bay is the same way . . . sure, he could have been true to the real story, which was already crazy and interesting, and not made Schiller/Kershaw look like a womanizing dick and show the killers as the complete psychopaths that they are . . . but he didn’t, because why should he? He’s Michael Bay! He’d rather see ridiculously muscled men have fun by torturing and killing and show them as being just average guys trying to make a living. What. A. Fucking. Dick.

So, as you can see, I hate Michael Bay. All of that aside, Pain and Gain is just not that good. It’s extremely long and oddly shot to the point that it’s distracting. While the acting was good and everything, the actors didn’t have much to work with.

Please do not waste your time on this movie. Don’t let Michael Bay brainwash you and read the real story.


We had multiple chances to see this movie but I think the main reason it took us this long to see it was a general dislike for Michael Bay. I kind of feel like anything associated with him is how I felt about watching Ted.

This movie is pretty terrible, especially considering what the real story is.

I hate Michael Bay.

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