FAIR GAME (1995)



I’m not sure what happens in Fair Game. We just watched it last night and I sort of don’t know what happened.

Something that truly strikes me in watching bad movies is how awful bad actors are. We all know that bad actors are bad. But seeing them try to act, especially near people who have even the least bit of acting ability, can be so excruciating that it’s distracting. Enter Cindy Crawford in Fair Game. I hated watching her on MTV’s House of Style, and that was a situation in which she wasn’t acting, she was just being Cindy Crawford talking about fashion. Watching her try to act was really . . . difficult. William Baldwin isn’t too great, but he seems amazing next to Cindy Crawford.

So not only are the actors not good, their characters are, perhaps, two of the stupidest leading characters I’ve ever seen. What does Kate (Cindy Crawford) do almost as soon as she’s entered into witness protection with cop Max (William Baldwin)? Oh, you know, just orders a pizza WITH HER CREDIT CARD. None of the cops she’s with stops her. So their safehouse pretty much immediately gets found out by the bad guys. I wish this was the first and last time that Kate uses her credit card and enables the bad guys to find them . . . but no. It’s not.

Max is also convinced that corrupt cops are behind everything, except the only “corrupt cops” he’s come across are actually just bad guys pretending to be cops. He’s a total fucking idiot, but unfortunately Kate is too stupid to realize this. They spend pretty much the entire movie running around (or sometimes getting blown up and being okay), not able to stay in one place because they keep doing insanely stupid things that get them caught by the bad guys, but once they’re in a train car together they suddenly find the time to stop and have slow, fairly graphic sex. The only thing that makes this make any sense is that they’re so exhausted and starving and dehydrated from not sleeping or eating for days that they’ve completely lost their minds.

Something that really stood out to me about Fair Game is how similar it is to The Pelican Brief, which came out 2 years before it. Both Fair Game and The Pelican Brief are about two beautiful young lawyers who are targeted by mysterious bad guys and have to work with only one male cop they can trust to try to figure out what’s going on. Except there’s no insane sex scene in The Pelican Brief. And also The Pelican Brief, while not the greatest movie ever made, is approximately 1000x better than Fair Game.

But, this movie needs to be seen if for no other reason than to see Cindy Crawford get blown up.


I recently started writing down, recently as in this movie, notes during the movie. Since this is my first time, I’m really only going to only write down my notes.

– “That was probably stupid.”

– Phone room

– Heat Vision Nonsense

– Very explosive cars

– Computers?

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