AFTER EARTH (2013)

after-earth-jaden-smith-volcano

Elizabeth

Oh god After Earth is so fucking dumb.

I’m really glad we watched it though. We almost didn’t because the trailer made it seem like the whole movie was Will and Jaden Smith getting stranded on post-apocalyptic earth and just straight up murdering animals for some reason. Luckily, it is not like that at all. Will and Jaden hardly even share screen time together. It’s insane.

After Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot I feel like I’m noticing a pattern in weird voices. But really, it’s just that Jaden Smith cannot speak. Or at least not in this movie. Which is extra unfortunate because he’s the narrator. I couldn’t figure out if he was trying to do an accent or if he was hard of hearing or if he had a speech impediment or what. I think maybe he just talks like that. He just sort of slurs his words or something.

Anyway, I almost don’t know what to say about this movie. I don’t think Will Smith is necessarily a bad actor but he is a bad actor in this movie. And Jaden Smith super sucks. The plot makes no sense. The special effects are laughable. But there aren’t any animal murders! So that’s good!

Christopher

I was sure that this movie was going to only be about Will Smith and his son, Jaden, killing exotic animals for two and a half hours. Although what really ended up happening was we had to watch some child pretend to be an adult only by trying to stay alive the whole time. This movie is overly complex and very boring. So much does not make sense and the rules in this universe are so convenient and vague.

What I walked away with from this movie is really only asking myself, “Why was it even set on Earth in the first place?”

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