You might read a synopsis for Just My Luck, or see an ad for it, or see the trailer, and you think you know what happens in it. For example, would you expect to see Lindsay Lohan pick up a contact lens out of a pile of cat shit and stick in her eye? Ha ha, of course you wouldn’t, and of course that happens in this movie.

Just look at this poster:


If you weren’t sure, that up there is supposed to be Lindsay Lohan and Chris Pine. I can basically see Chris Pine in there, but WHO THE FUCK IS THAT LADY??? That is not Lindsay Lohan. Maybe at one time it was, but after all that Photoshopping, that time has passed.

So anyway, Lohan plays Ashley, “the luckiest girl in Manhattan.” Her good luck is on a supernatural level: when she whistles for a taxi, 5 nearly crash into each other trying to stop for her. When she walks out of her building, the cloudy skies turn sunny. Shit like that. Alternatively we have Pine playing Jake, a guy who maybe has less-than-great luck, but is mostly just stupid. Ashley is incredibly successful and well-liked despite not really knowing anything or thinking about anyone but herself. She throws a masquerade ball for her company, which Jake shows up for. Oh, why is Jake there? Well, do you remember the musical group McFly? You don’t? Yeah, that makes sense, considering they’re a mid 2000’s shitty pop rock band from England that inexplicably has promotional ties to Just My Luck. McFly play themselves and Jake acts as their friend-but-not-manager and tries to get a record exec to hear McFly’s CD at the party. Ashley and Jake kiss and their luck switches, but even when it switches, Jake’s good luck is so insane that it’s really just magic, and Ashley does not have bad luck, she just cannot do anything. Remember when I said she picked up a contact lens off of cat shit and put it in her eye? Yeah.

It doesn’t matter how this movie resolves itself. I’m sure you can make a pretty educated guess. But what’s really insane is that I just learned that Lohan was 19 when she filmed this, and from the picture at the top of the post that either seems like a huge lie (which it is not) or a huge tragedy, considering she looks at least 10 years older than I am now (which is 26). That blows my mind.


This movie maybe more boring than not but holy shit is it weird. It’s all about Lindsay Lohan who has crazy good luck, like insane good luck, like good luck where something completely unrealistic happens every couple of minutes. On the other hand there is Chris Pine’s character who has crazy bad luck, the same kind of luck as Lohan, just bad. So bad that it’s a miracle he’s even alive. Well the story really begins when they kiss and their luck changes, Pine has bad luck and Lohan has good luck.

What I don’t really understand is why this power is called luck in this film. It really is a superpower. It’s to the point where either of them could create some kind of following. This movie could very well be the director’s version of what will happen when the lord our savior Jesus Christ comes back. I sure hope it is.

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