DEAD HEAT (1988)

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Christopher

A friend from back home was pretty obsessed with this movie for a while and I think it was kind of my first memories watching a movie because it was bad. Because of this memory I thought it would be a good one to watch with Elizabeth. Dead Heat is as bad as any action movie that you will come across, but it’s so watchable. It’s basically a zombie movie but the big kicker about the story is that since people can come back from the dead, death pretty much become obsolete within the story. It’s a blood bath basically, and almost makes you think George R.R. Martin wrote it.

It’s now on Netflix so I highly encourage people to at least watch the first 20 minutes.

Elizabeth

Dead Heat takes place in a very weird world where death doesn’t matter. Explanations in this world don’t really matter either. It’s a very problematic world.

Cops Roger (Treat Williams) and Doug (Joe Piscopo), while investigating a string of robberies committed by robbers who can’t seem to die, discover what is essentially a zombie making factory. Dead people are turned into soulless creatures ready to do your bidding. Unfortunately, Roger dies pretty early on in the movie. FORTUNATELY, Roger’s ex-girlfriend, SMYTHERS (very sexy name) (Clare Kirkconnell) figure out how to not only use the zombie machine to bring Roger back, but also to restore his soul so it’s like nothing ever happened. Oh, except in 12 hours his zombie body will totally degenerate and he’ll be dead for real.

All the characters in this movie die, but only Roger and Doug get resurrected. Everyone else just dies. It’s sort of weird. And it’s not a huge deal when anyone dies. I guess in a world when you can create zombies, death doesn’t matter as much, but still.

Yeah, Dead Heat is weird and just not very good.

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MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN (1988)

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Christopher

This movie was sooooo sexy it’s insane that it was kids’ movie. We watched this film because Elizabeth said it was the first time she remembered a movie scene being super sexy and this movie definitely lived up to that!!

I have always thought Kim Basinger was attractive, she’s super sexy in Batman, especially in her hipster glasses! There are scenes in this movie where she learns to kiss (because she’s an alien), have sex and she just randomly wears see-through shirts and bras . . . it’s great. But I think other than the audience the one who must of had the greatest time of his life was Dan Aykroyd. The loser scientist who was the reason that Kim Basinger came to earth in the first place. All their sexy scenes together are super long and one can only imagine that he made sure they had a few takes.

Also Alyson Hannigan is in this and her boyfriend in it is . . . SETH GREEN!!! Is Joss Whedon a big fan of this film? ALSO Jon Lovitz is in this and he ends up going to the aliens’ home planet to “teach them about earth” but to really have sex with all the attractive inhabitants. Also there is a scene where you get to see a graphic cover of a Hustler . . . so this movie is pretty sexy and I really wish that I had seen it as a kid cause it would have been an instant classic!

Elizabeth

My Stepmother is an Alien is near and dear to my heart for a couple of reasons. First of all, I’m pretty sure it was the first movie I ever saw with anything close to a sex scene. The movie includes a porno clip and a really long scene of Celeste (Kim Basinger) sort of stripping (but mostly slinking around in a silk slip). It was sort of incredible. And, even more incredibly, the movie lived up to my memories of it. I always thought it was kids’ movie, but now that I’ve seen it as an adult I’m not so sure.

The other reason this movie is dear to me because the first time I ever used the word “hilarious” in a sentence was in describing this movie. My family sat down to watch it, and before it came on I said, “I heard this movie was hilarious.” I have no idea how old I was, but I was pretty young, and I had been dying to say the word and was so proud of myself when I did.

I guess I can’t really tell what else My Stepmother is an Alien has going for it. It’s super goofy but then has some really sexy and scary parts, so the tone is sort of off a bit. One of the highlights, though was seeing a pre-Buffy Alyson Hannigan and Seth Green on a super-80’s date. A super-80’s Juliette Lewis was also involved, but she didn’t have any lines, which was . . . okay.