TOMMY BOY (1995)

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Christopher

I watched this movie well over thirty times when I was in middle school. Because of this I was a bit worried the humor might be too sexist or something. Fortunately it wasn’t the case at all. I still laughed through most of the movie.

When I was young I definitely thought it was just understood that Chris Farley was the funniest comedian to ever live. That’s obviously not the case but thinking about that now I feel like it was his physical comedy that made me feel that way.
I also used to have a sound bite of “fat man in a little coat” I downloaded from Napster.

 

Elizabeth

Before watching it with Chris, the most exposure I had to Tommy Boy was its trailer on a VHS I had growing up. Even from that all I remember is Chris Farley getting sprayed with gasoline and him mimicking Darth Vader’s voice in a fan. Despite growing up in the ’90s I managed to miss most of the Chris Farley-David Spade craze. I thought Chris Farley was sad because everyone just seemed to make fun of him and I thought David Spade was mean because he just seemed to make fun of everyone. Plus I’m pretty sure my mom would have dropped dead before seeing a movie starring Chris Farley.

A lot of the jokes that seem to be classics, according to Chris, were totally new to me and were therefore super funny. I braced myself for a lot of gross-out humor but was pleasantly surprised to find a lot of physical comedy but not a lot of super gross shit. One of the funniest scenes was when Tommy (Farley) puts on Richard’s too-small blazer to make him laugh, swinging his arms and repeating “Fat guy in a little coat.” I know now it’s a famous scene but it just cracked me the fuck up. I was also pleasantly surprised with Tommy’s character in general. He managed to be pathetic enough to be funny without being too pathetic to laugh at. And I liked that he wasn’t mean at all – I expected a lot of the dialogue to be Tommy and Richard insulting each other. But Tommy’s actually really nice and he makes you want to see him do sorta well, at least.

A weird misstep to me though was the whole stepmother subplot. Tommy comes home from college to find that his father, Tom (Brian Dennehy) has proposed to a new woman named Beverly (Bo Derek) who has an adult son, Paul (Rob Lowe). Paul is a creep from the start and Tom is just as nice as Tommy so you know they’re setting you up for something to be off about the relationship. Tom and Beverly get married as planned but while singing at the reception Tom has a heart attack and dies. Tom’s death sets off the chain of events that the movie revolves around – mainly Tommy and Richard going on a cross-country sales trip to save the family business. But it also reveals the truth about Beverly and Paul: Beverly planned to divorce Tom and take all his money (somehow). But since Tom died, they really just need to prevent Tommy from saving the company so they can sell what Tom left them of the company. Oh and also, Beverly and Paul are lovers – not mother and son. Sooo, why was this weird relationship included? It feels like when the movie was first written, Tom didn’t die and Beverly did divorce him, but died in the re-write so they just had Beverly acknowledge that now her job was easier. It was just so weird and clunky and I definitely did not expect the grossest thing about a Chris Farley movie to be Bo Derek and Rob Lowe making out.

Tommy Boy isn’t an intellectual giant of a movie, but that’s okay. It’s just funny.

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THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE (2000)

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Christopher

I can’t get enough of this movie. I think the last time I watched it was two years ago but I was ready to watch it again when Elizabeth suggested it, even if it was the fourth time. This movie has an all-star cast, mostly just John Goodman, but I will say that this is one of the best things David Spade has done in his career. The story is simple but makes you invested and the jokes rarely fall flat for me.

I will say though, the biggest downfall for me about this movie are the names. They are kind of difficult to remember and I might be a bit bitter but when I lived in San Antonio myself and a few of my friends used to play Disney Scene It and I was never able to answer any of the Emperor’s New Groove name questions. Not that I was going to win if I ever got it but it’s something I’ll always remember for whatever reason.

Elizabeth

When The Emperor’s New Groove came out, my middle school boyfriend told me something that’s stuck with me to today: never trust someone who doesn’t like The Emperor’s New Groove. It might sound extreme, but it’s actually a pretty sound philosophy.

The Emperor’s New Groove is proof that a kid’s movie doesn’t need random, dumb, “adult” humor thrown in to be good. It just has to be good. Kids and their parents will see a good movie. I feel like this is the theory that Pixar’s been working off of since they started putting out movies. Sure, there’s jokes that might go over the head of a young kid, but I saw this when I was 12 and still got all the jokes. And we just watched it again, and I’m 26, and somehow the jokes are even funnier now, even though the meanings haven’t changed.

Chris and I are also watching through Roseanne right now, which I think is what got me itching to watch The Emperor’s New Groove. As Pacha, John Goodman plays a sort of Dan Conner-esque character in that he’s a big, caring, smart, family man. He really is perfect for this role. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s by far the best thing David Spade has done post-Chris Farley, because he’s actually funny in this. And what an amazing combination of Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton as partners in crime. Eartha Kitt already had a funny voice that really lent itself to be used in comedy, but she really played it up here. There’s a scene toward the end, especially, where she turns into a kitten and her voice suddenly goes up in pitch and . . . I mean, it fucking kills me every time. And I’ve seen this movie over and over again in the last 14 years and it STILL gets me.

That’s true for the movie in general, though. I’m at the point where I can practically say all the lines because I’ve seen it so much, but it doesn’t faze me in the least. Anyone who thinks they’re too good for The Emperor’s New Groove for whatever reason is severely mistaken, and should give this movie a second (and a third, and probably more) chance.

GROWN UPS 2 (2013)

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Christopher

Finally got to see this!! Or at least I got to see all of it (Elizabeth might have missed the last part.)

If you guys have been reading this blog than I think everyone is aware that we, or at least I, really enjoy watching Adam Sandler movies, especially if Kevin James is in it! I’m not quite sure why but my best guess would be that I really did liked both of them when I was little and now, it’s crazy how they both seem to have sold their souls to the devil.

Grown Ups 2 is no where close to a favorite Sandler film, but it’s a follow-up to one of the best, Grown Ups. I think this film could have been far better, in terms of watching, but there really wasn’t much of a plot. I guess it’s just about Sandler and his friends getting used to living back in their childhood town? The whole movie is basically our main characters running into characters from their high school past.

I think the other thing I had a big problem with is that this film is very nice compared to his other ones, especially Grown Ups. The first Grown Ups was Sandler making fun of all his friends and everyone else being too scared to say anything to him. Grown Ups 2 is just too nice. I wanted it to be more like the first where everything was an insult and every other thing had to do with Kevin James being fat.

The other thing that was off about this film is that Rob Schneider’s character wasn’t in it at all. In fact, I don’t think they even mention him. I read somewhere online that it was due to his wife being pregnant but I really think there is more to it. He and Sandler must be at odds right now or something. I look forward to learning more about that in the future.

Overall this movie was boring, and long, like most of his movies are, or seem to be. Not really worth it but I’m still glad I saw it.

Elizabeth

Just like Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2 is a huge piece of shit. The only good thing about it was the sequel didn’t have Rob Schneider in it, which the filmmakers still fucked up because his character (a main character in Grown Ups) isn’t even mentioned in Grown Ups 2. God.

GROWN UPS (2010)

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Christopher

It took me forever but since Grown Ups 2 is now in theaters I felt that we had to watch this. It really is an all-star cast! I would say all the main male characters, other than Chris Rock MAYBE, starring in any movie, makes it an instantly shitty film. All completely worth watching. Of course the biggest one out of them being Adam Sandler. It really feels like he might be some sort of Antichrist. He’s pretty shitty and I feel that Grown Ups is further truth of this. The whole movie is about a group of friends coming together for a reunion of sorts once their basketball coach dies. Everyone is really mean and shitty to each other. But, the whole time no one really makes fun of Adam Sandler and at one point Adam Sandler starts slapping Kevin James’ character with a pancake I think? The whole time Kevin James just has to accept it? Oh but it’s because Kevin James is FAT!!!!!

– Kevin James: His whole character revolves around this. Every time he opens his mouth you already end the joke by saying, “CAUSE HE’S FAT!!!!!”

–  Chris Rock: He’s the feminine one. He cooks for his wife who has a job and he’s not good at basketball. Every time he speaks it ends with you knowing he’s less of a man because his wife just makes fun of him.

– Rob Schneider: He’s the spiritual guy who loves old, old women. He has one really hot daughter who all the other guys want to have sex with and he has another daughter, who looks more like him, and everyone just makes fun of the whole time. But of course they do! Why would they be nice to someone that UGLY!!!

– David Spade: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha he’s supposed to be a ladies man?

– ADAM SANDLER: So he has demon sons who don’t love nature, so Adam Sandler tries to get them to go outside and play like he used to as a kid. Adam Sandler did raise them to act this way but for some reason he just thinks they’re dumb. Adam Sandler is supposed to be good at basketball?? He only shoots bank shots?

Finally, what I think is truly the worst part about this film and really any film with any of these guys is that they are all so shitty to their wives/girlfriends (I guess Chris Rock is the only exception in this movie). I wonder if these guys know that IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMEONE DON’T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP ESPECIALLY MARRIAGE WITH THEM.

#AdamSandler666

Elizabeth

Since you’re reading this blog, I think I can safely bet that you’re smart. So you’ve probably heard that Grown Ups is bad and you probably assume as much. But I have news for you. Grown Ups is much, much, much worse than you could possibly imagine.

Grown Ups is so actively unfunny and boring that I often forgot that what we were watching was supposed to be a comedy film rather than just scenes of Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Rob Schneider sitting around in various locations in a Sandler-led circle jerk. All these guys are supposed to be playing recently reunited childhood friends that are going to supposedly remain friends, yet they can’t stop shitting on each other . . . most notably on Kevin James, because his only character trait is being fat and most notably not on Adam Sandler, who, as co-producer and co-writer, is obviously the mastermind behind this cash cow.

But what I want to really focus on here are the women of this movie. Did you even know that Grown Ups had women? I’d honestly just rather they didn’t. In this movie we are supposed to be believe that the pathetic characters of Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, and Kevin James are supposed to be married to Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, and Maria Bello, respectively. And that David Spade is a for real ladies’ man. It’s totally fucking insane. And then there’s the way they’re treated, with Salma Hayek getting the brunt of the awfulness. Her character, Roxanne, is married to Adam Sandler’s character, Lenny. Roxanne and Lenny have managed to raise utterly abhorrent children. Roxanne is a fashion designer of apparently great success, as her new line is set to premiere soon at Milan Fashion Week. Unfortunately for Roxanne, Milan Fashion Week coincides with her husband’s masturbatory, insufferable friend reunion, so she can’t go. Let me rephrase: Lenny does not allow her to go. Lenny does not allow her to do her job. So she can stay with him and their terrible children while he spends most of his time without them and with his absolutely shitty friends. Once Roxanne concedes to this, she finds out that Lenny long ago cancelled the Milan trip, without ever discussing this with her. BUT HEY IT’S OKAY, BECAUSE SHE’S JUST A SIMPLE WOMAN. It’s absolutely fucking maddening. Why did you do this, Salma Hayek? I absolutely hope she got paid a shit ton for this, or else I will not be able to tolerate her ever again.

I can’t even go into the fact that we discover Rob Schneider has a hot daughter that all the guys want to sleep with and a normal looking daughter that all the guys constantly make fun of, because just thinking about Grown Ups is making me clench my jaw in anger and I’ve already been to the dentist once this week.