THE BIG WEDDING (2013)

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Elizabeth

Let me just give you these lines from the beginning of the Wikipedia plot summary of The Big Wedding:

In preparation for Alejandro [Ben Barnes]’s wedding, Ellie [Diane Keaton] arrives at Don [Robert De Niro]’s (and her old) home, and lets herself in. She interrupts Don just as he is about to perform cunnilingus on Bebe [Susan Sarandon], his girlfriend of eight years (and Ellie’s former best friend).

That’s what we’re working with here. The kind of movie that makes a joke about older people having sex, because older people are SO GROSS AM I RIGHT?!? But yeah, that’s the level The Big Wedding is on: jokes about (old, rich, white) people being uncomfortable around each other for various reasons.

There’s a bunch of people in this movie, and it doesn’t help whatsoever. In addition to the above, there’s also Katherine Heigl, Robin Williams, Amanda Seyfried, and Topher Grace to round out the cast. Robin Williams is barely in it as a priest, which is just really distracting. Ben Barnes, Katherine Heigl, and Topher Grace play siblings, except they have no chemistry and could never be in the same family. Amanda Seyfried plays the wide-eyed fiance, because that is all she ever plays. It’s also kind of amazing to me how Diane Keaton seems to play the exact same character in every movie in the last 20 years or so.

Look at these posters and try to honestly tell me that there is no way Diane Keaton is playing the same character every time:

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I mean, for real.

Overall, there’s not much to say about The Big Wedding because there really isn’t much going on. But a few points:

  • Katherine Heigl is upset because she recently separated from her husband, because he “said terrible things” to her. She repeats this multiple times, including to the said husband when he shows up at the end. But it also turns out she’s pregnant, so that magically solves everything and they get back together, because that’s how that works. And we never find out what those terrible things were.
  • How disgustingly rich this family is was a huge turn-off to me. One of the first shots of the whole movie was of the humble family home:https://i0.wp.com/betweennapsontheporch.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/1.jpgNow I’m not saying a family that lives in a house like that can’t have problems, but I can say I probably don’t care. And considering the wealth came from Robert De Niro being a sculptor, and they explain that with every piece he sold they added a room to the house, it makes the whole thing seem even more like a weird fantasy that I wouldn’t want any part of.
  • At one point, Susan Sarandon feels out of place in all the family stuff and basically removes herself from everything. So, the morning of their son’s wedding, Robert De Niro and Diane Keaton have sex loud enough for all of their awake family members to hear. BECAUSE THAT MAKES A WHOLE LOT OF FUCKING SENSE? Susan Sarandon finds out, but is totally okay with it. He apologizes for not including her and shit, but I kept waiting for her to say “Yeah okay but remember when you fucked your ex-wife THIS MORNING?” Didn’t happen, unfortunately.

Christopher

Getting back to our old movie ways we came across The Big Wedding and I have to say, I don’t think it disappointed. When we first started watching this I was a little nervous it would be just a fine movie. Nothing really out of the ordinary. There are so many stars in this film you would of thought one of their agents had read the script, but luckily for us that was not the case. This movie is bad and there really isn’t anything about it that makes it different than any other romantic comedy about a son getting married.

There are so many plots going on in this movie and there are so many characters that you really never feel like you know anyone. Especially Susan Sarandon. She plays the stepmother of all three grown kids in the film. Diane Keaton is the mother. This film has a kind of Birdcage type plot where they pretend that the original parents are back together so that the kid who is getting married, who was adopted by Diane Keaton and Robert De Niro, can pretend to his biological mother that he wasn’t raised by people who were divorced. She is not American and very strict. Just the son trying to accommodate for a mother he knows nothing about while at the same time so much about. He was not raised by this woman but he apparently knows so much about how religious and uptight she is. It’s very confusing.

This movie makes you feel like the writer has never met any human in their life. All the characters feel very unrelated and again, communication is a big part of the issues in this film. An absolute terrible movie. I wouldn’t recommend this over other bad romantic comedies but I enjoyed watching this one. It can just be fun watching such a train wreck.

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WHAT DREAMS MAY COME (1998)

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Elizabeth (spoilers!)

Well, after Good Will Hunting it was time for a bad Robin Williams movie. We went with What Dreams May Come and that might confuse you, because maybe you think it’s a good movie. And while I understand your confusion, I’m sorry to say that What Dreams May Come is not a good movie. It is, in fact, a very, very, very bad movie. This is going to be a long one.

Robin Williams plays Chris, a comically perfect pediatrician. Chris is married to Annie (Annabella Sciorra), who does something vague with an art gallery, and they have two kids, Marie and and Ian.

Also present at Chris and Annie’s meet-cute: terrible wigs.
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After some images of the family being perfect together, which includes a sequence of them squirting water at each other in slow motion, Chris reveals to us that Marie and Ian have been killed, but we get no other details (about 3/4 of the way in, we find out it was a car crash). Four years pass, and as he drives home from work one night during a storm, Chris gets out of his car to help a woman in a car crash. Even though traffic all around him is stopped, Chris turns around and literally sees a car flying through the air toward him. It lands on him and kills him. When he dies, he still interacts with Annie, even possessing her at one point to make her write a note that he still exists, until he’s finally convinced by this blurry image that is obviously Cuba Gooding, Jr. that he probably shouldn’t keep fucking with her because Annie gets increasingly freaked out by her dead husband haunting her. Once Chris quits that, he’s officially in heaven and officially with Cuba Gooding, Jr., who plays Albert, an old friend Chris knew when he was a student. Albert shows him around heaven until he breaks the news that Annie has killed herself and she’s in hell. Even though NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT, Chris decides to go to hell to bring Annie back up to heaven, and Albert hooks him up with a tracker (Max von Sydow) to help, even though it’s never been done so you would think no one would know what to do in this situation. The tracker helps bring Chris to hell, where he finally finds Annie and after some boring scenes she’s back in heaven with him, they decide to reincarnate themselves as little kids, the end.

HAHA, except I am SO far from done. The movie with only the above plot might be sort of okay. But luckily, there is so much more to What Dreams May Come.

Chris and Annie do not give a shit about their kids and we are given multiple pieces of evidence of this. The first red flag, to me, was that once Chris accepted he was dead and in heaven he didn’t immediately want to see his kids again. One would think that a father who has been grieving the last 4 years of his life would really jump at that kind of opportunity, but nah. But the way he finally does see his daughter should have been enough to make everyone walk out of the theater when they saw this movie.

Chris meets Leona, an Asian woman he doesn’t recognize with a flight attendant name tag. He meets her in her part of heaven, which I guess means she decorated it because it’s never really clear what it means when someone “has” their own heaven, considering it’s obviously connected with everyone else’s heavens. Then it’s revealed that people in heaven can essentially take on whatever form they want, and Leona chose her form because her “daddy” once met an Asian flight attendant named Leona and concluded that Asian women were “the loveliest.” Now, while I was in shock and hoping what I thought was about to happen wasn’t going to happen, Robin Williams is crying. Why? Because in a split second, Leona transforms into Marie and it’s confirmed that Marie decided to disguise herself as a sexy Asian woman because her father thinks Asian women are sexy. WHAT. THE. FUCK. What’s even crazier is that she’s only revealed as Marie for a second, then goes right back to being Leona. So even once Marie tells her dad that she’s his daughter, she still decides to go back to being the lady her dad wants to fuck, and her dad is totally okay with that, and that is totally fucked up.

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Yeah, Leona goes from the above to the below with one camera swipe. And then even once Chris knows who she is, she still goes back to being Leona because, you know, she’s sexy:

Gross.

Ohhhhhhh but did you think that was the only reveal? Haha, as it turns out, Albert is actually Ian because Ian knew Albert was the only one Chris ever listened to. So, let me clarify: Chris’ son, Ian, chose to show himself to Chris for this entire time as Albert, because Ian knew that Chris would not listen to him as Ian, only as Albert. So, that’s kind of fucked up, right? And just like Marie, even though Cuba Gooding, Jr. is standing in front of Chris telling him that he’s his son, they never show him to actually be Ian. Marie at least got a flash of her looking like herself; Ian just gets stuck with being Cuba Gooding, Jr. forever.

Still not giving a shit about their kids, Chris at one point decides he will stay in hell with Annie because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to bring her back. That’s all well and good, but did Chris forget that his kids are in heaven, waiting for him? I understand wanting to be with his wife, but it also seems weird to just blow off your dead, newly-discovered-as-spirits kids. To tie up the whole idea that Chris and Annie don’t give a shit about their kids, in the end, after all of that shit to bring Annie back to heaven, presumably so the family can be together again, Chris and Annie decide to get reincarnated instead, and the movie ends with them meeting again as children. Sooo I guess their kids just get to hang out in heaven without them while they go off and have lives? Because the kids are killed in the beginning of the movie, because Chris doesn’t care about seeing his kids in heaven, because both kids have to hide their identities from Chris, because Chris and Annie leave the kids in the end anyway . . . all lead me to believe that the children function only to make What Dreams May Come sadder. Their roles literally did not add anything else. And one more thing:
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Marie looks like a dude. End of story.

So I’ve already talked about how the first person Chris meets in heaven, Albert, is not actually Albert, but his son, Ian. And the second person Chris meets in heaven, Leona, is not actually Leona but his daughter, Marie. Now, there’s one more person that I’ve mentioned that Chris meets in heaven, and it’s the only other person he meets, so if you’re wondering if maybe the tracker isn’t really the tracker . . . haha, you’re right! The tracker, aka Max von Sydow is not actually the tracker but . . .Albert, the real Albert, Chris’ friend from before. So, in case you’re lost, that means when we see Cuba Gooding Jr., he’s actually Chris’ son, and when we see Max von Sydow, he’s actually Cuba Gooding Jr. WAY TO BE POINTLESSLY AND COMICALLY CONFUSING, MOVIE.

Another big issue with this movie are rules. The afterlife apparently has no rules . . . except when the plot needs rules. See, Albert/Ian tells us that there actually is no judgement in the afterlife, and no rules . . . but oh yeah, we learn later that there’s a hell. So, an afterlife with no judgement and no rules, but it has heaven and hell? If there’s no judgement, what determines who goes where? Which leads me to my next big issue: do only suicides go to hell? Albert/Ian tells us when Annie kills herself she went to hell because everyone who commits suicide goes to hell, because they’ve disrupted some kind of natural order. But since there’s no judgement, does that mean only suicides go to tell? So Annie is in hell with Hitler, while Ted Bundy is in heaven with Chris and his children and it’s only because both Annie and Hitler killed themselves? I’m sorry, but that seems way off. If there’s truly no judgement, then maybe there needs to be some. It severely bothers me that in this afterlife, everyone has this super sweet eternity waiting for them, except for people who have killed themselves and could very well have been suffering the most in life, who get to spend eternity in hell instead. First of all, that sounds like a very Christian view on suicide, second of all, that really fucking sucks. The movie clearly tries to be open to “all” religions (meaning they mention reincarnation a few times) without being squarely Christian, but there is definitely religion involved because one of the first things Chris asks Albert/Ian is “Where’s God?” and Albert/Ian says that he’s around us, which is a very similar answer to what’s told to people on Earth, which should be a red flag in the first place. Why not just make the movie’s afterlife totally absent of religion then? That would make more sense as a whole, but probably would have been too much work while also not being confusing enough for this movie.

It’s a shame how bad and stupid this movie is. I think the concept is really interesting and the book is probably worth reading, as it doesn’t have most of the plot points that the movie has. But What Dreams May Come pretty much exists just to be sad. It doesn’t really say anything else or do anything else. Any legitimate interest comes from the fact that it looks very beautiful. A quick reminder: this movie has a man’s pre-teen daughter transform into a sexy Asian lady because that man thinks Asian women are sexy. His daughter.

Okay, I’m done. Please don’t bother with this movie. You might hear otherwise, but no, What Dreams May Come is shitty.

Christopher (spoilers! but who really gives a shit with this movie)
This movie is terrible and I loved watching every minute of it. I first saw this with my family ten plus years ago and all I remembered about it was how over-the-top sad it was. And how stupid it was that Robin Williams’ kids didn’t look like themselves in heaven. And I watched this when everything scared me, especially death. For these reasons and a few others I was pretty confident that this was the bad Robin Williams movie we should watch to go along with Good Will Hunting and I think we made the right decisions.

This review might upset some because I was reminded about this movie based off what people were saying about Robin Williams’ death and it really surprised me how many people listed What Dreams May Come as their favorite Robin Williams movie . . .is it really? Have you actually seen it since it came out?

The story of this movie is about a perfect family, mother, father, and two kids (boy and girl) and how they all die and some of them end up in heaven. However the biggest thing that stuck out to me, watching this as an adult is how much the parents in this film don’t give a fuck about their kids. It kind of reminded me of the coach in The Blind Side. The parents’ disregard for the kids is so apparent to me it almost seemed like a weird joke?

Robin William dies and goes to heaven. He meets Cuba Gooding, Jr., which is great ‘cause they’re long friends!!! Cuba shows Robin around Robin’s “Heaven” which is one of his wife’s paintings. One day Cuba has to go off on other heavenly business so he sends this Asian bombshell to show Robin some more moves. The Asian lady is so nice to Robin and talks about the way she looks. She says that her DADDY saw that lady on a flight to Hawaii or something and said that Asian women were so beautiful. So when she got to heaven she could finally look like something her father liked . . .a hot Asian lady? So right after she says this Robin immediately knows who she’s talking about (I mean he did masturbate to this woman the night he saw her on that plane) and the Asian lady turns into his daughter. They just smile at each other and are happy that they found each other. Whut? There are so many things wrong with this scene to me. They are just happy but don’t even hug with his daughter as herself? And what the fuck? If you have terrible parent issues in the real world they follow you over into heaven? That’s pretty shitty. So later you find out that Cuba is actually the son and Max von Sydow shows up who is actually Cuba Gooding, Jr.? It gets confusing for no reason and each time it’s a big reveal of who the person actually is. You would think Robin Williams would have just assumed after his daughter showed up looking like someone else, but maybe being dead was too much on his mind.

Robin Williams has to find his wife who killed herself. He has to go into hell to save her which apparently no one has ever done. He goes down to hell, finds her within minutes, and it becomes apparent that she’s too crazy. Robin Williams then decides he should just stay with her. He does not worry about being with both his kids in heaven. He would rather go crazy and be with his wife in hell than spend another moment with those meddling kids. However the wife realizes who Robin is and is cured enough to escape and ascend into heaven. At this point all the kids show up to see their mom. The kids look like themselves, finally. I love this part because it makes it seem like they only had a problem with their dad and not their mom. Their whole family is there happy to spend eternity in heaven!!!! Although Robin and Annabella decide that they want to live life again and go get reincarnated as children and leave their kids behind in heaven. THE END.

This movie has a lot more wrong with it but all the drama around the kids is easily the highlight to me. This movie is really not good and if you say you love it but haven’t seen it since it came out, I would recommend checking it out again.

GOOD WILL HUNTING (1997)

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Christopher

The first memory I have of this film is when it first came out I was living in Virginia Beach, Virginia and the clip where Will is talking about choosing the wrench for his stepfather to beat him with played on a news show. I remember thinking at the time that the movie appeared way too sad and I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to watch it.

I’m glad something changed my mind because when I saw Good Will Hunting for the first time in high school, or middle school or something, I remember really liking it. I thought the story was interesting and the actors were fine but watching it now, I feel as I grow up this movie gets more interesting and more a movie I wouldn’t mind watching again. I think so much of this movie works well and it just feels good to watch a movie that writes well. I think with Elizabeth and I watching a lot of terrible movies it’s nice to watch one that’s just really good, and I feel like Good Will Hunting does that.

I’m sure his best movie to me is one of his family films but as an adult I think it might be Good Will Hunting. It’s a terrible tragedy about his death, it didn’t hit me as hard as Philip Seymour Hoffman, but I will definitely miss Robin Williams. I think Elizabeth and I are going to try to watch some of his stand-up soon. I think that’s where his real legacy will live.

Elizabeth

Chris and I were shocked and upset by the news of Robin Williams’ death, along with pretty much everyone else. We decided to watch one of his best movies and one of his worst movies. And I happen to think Good Will Hunting was Robin Williams’ best movie, period.

Good Will Hunting is important to me. It was one of the first, if not the first, movie that caused me to go on a massive please-let-me-see-this-R-movie-even-though-I’m-too-young-in-this-case-9 campaign in my house in order to see this movie. And it worked, eventually, on a few conditions: I had to wait until it was out on video, my mom had to see it first, I had to watch it with my mom, and she had to fast forward through Skylar (Minnie Driver)’s semen-based joke (which totally makes sense but there’s no way I would have known what the joke meant had I seen it at the time). It was the first time I was aware of Gus Van Sant and the first time I really noticed Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. I’ve seen it a million times and it’s a movie where I can now anticipate almost every line before it’s spoken, but it never gets old.

Obviously there are a lot of elements at work here, including incredible performances, but I think it’s the writing that really shines. Sean (Robin Williams)’s monologue from the scene pictured is one of the greatest monologues I’ve ever heard, both in its writing and its performance. It’s a speech that so perfectly encapsulates the conflict of trying to think outside of your own experiences while also judging other people based on what you think you know about them. There’s Chuckie (Ben Affleck)’s great speech to Will (Matt Damon) about how and why Will insults his friends by not utilizing his own intelligence. There’s the fight between Skylar and Will, prompted by Skylar asking Will to move to California with her, that nearly breaks both of them and causes them to suddenly reveal things about themselves to each other that they had kept bottled up. And it’s not just the big speeches or conversations that are so great; Good Will Hunting is also super funny and it’s charming, too.

Going along with the writing, the characters’ relationships are all so well-defined and great, especially with Will. Will is obviously the bridge connecting everyone and his relationship with each character acts as an illustration of another aspect of his personality. I love that Will and Chuckie love each other without question, I love that Will and Skylar bring out so much in each other that obviously hasn’t been brought out before, and I love that despite everything else, Will and Sean are really each others match and challenge each other.

And yes, Robin Williams is great here. He plays Sean so well and so surprisingly, although there are flashes of Mr. Keating from Dead Poets Society. Will is so volatile, ready to drop everything in a minute for a fight. Sean is what you want out of a therapist: calm, soothing, empathic, and not condescending. I don’t think it ever really seems like Sean sees himself in Will, even though they’re from the same neighborhood and both dealt with childhood abuse. It’s more that Sean sees Will for who he really is, for better or worse, and what he sees is brilliant and worthy of love and happiness. I know the scene where Sean repeats “It’s not your fault,” until Will weeps is famous and fairly well mocked, which upsets me because it is an incredible scene. It’s the end of Sean and Will’s time as patient and therapist, and Will casually mentions being beaten with a wrench by a foster parent as a child. “All this shit, it’s not your fault,” Sean says, with Will automatically saying, “I know,” as if it’s not the first time he’s heard that, which it most certainly isn’t. But unlike those who may have said that to Will in the past, Sean keeps saying it, with a quiet, clear, calm voice, and lets Will get annoyed, explode, freak out, and finally break down and weep in Sean’s arms. It gives me goosebumps just writing about it.

I wish all of Robin Williams’ work could be on par with Good Will Hunting, but I could say the same for anyone else involved in the movie (sup, Gigli). But this is also the kind of movie that if it happened to the best thing that anyone involved (Van Sant, Damon, etc) ever did, that would be okay because Good Will Hunting is that fucking good.

 

THE BIRDCAGE (1996)

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Elizabeth

After the depressing horrible-ness that came on Sunday, I felt like I was in a movie funk. I just wasn’t really in the mood to watch anything. Luckily, weeks before we got tickets to a special screening of The Birdcage in honor of Nathan Lane’s birthday. It was a much-needed pick me up.

I had never seen it before, and while I knew The Birdcage would be funny, I had no idea just how funny it was. What I love most is the way the characters contrast. You have the two main characters, Armand (Robin Williams) and Albert (Nathan Lane), flamboyantly gay partners. Armand’s son, Val (Dan Futterman) is getting married to Barbara (Calista Flockhart), the daughter of an ultra conservative senator, Kevin (Gene Hackman) and his extremely mild-mannered wife, Louise (Dianne Wiest). It might seem obvious to have the antagonist be a Republican senator when the protagonists are gay men, but it’s not that simple. Armand and Albert might be a bit stereotypical (Armand owns the drag club, The Birdcage, where Albert performs), but they’re not really an average gay couple. They’re way overboard, between where they live and what they wear and how they talk, it’s all totally over the top. But on the flip side, you have Kevin, who is so comically conservative that he’s way overboard, too, almost a caricature. It’s not about having contrast to create conflict, it’s also about showing these characters as equally ridiculous. Is it ridiculous that Albert meets Kevin and his family in drag, pretending to be Val’s mother (whom Val has never met)? Completely. Is it ridiculous that Kevin would say that he doesn’t agree with killing abortion doctors, but he agrees with the outcome it brings? Totally! This movie just makes everyone look insane, which makes all the interactions that crazier, that funnier.

I need to make a special point to talk about how incredible Hank Azaria is in this, too. Robin Williams and Nathan Lane are totally on top of their game, comedy-wise. Gene Hackman is his usual amazing self, and is really particularly funny and perfect for his role. Hank Azaria plays Agador, Armand and Albert’s “houseboy.” I sort of love that they don’t really explain Agador; we first see him trying to help Armand get Albert to go on stage for a show, and he acts as their sort of maid for the rest of the movie. He’s apparently Guatemalan with the most absurd accent that no one questions. He has this one line . . . one line that made both Chris and I die laughing. Val tells Agador that he needs to get ready and put his shoes on because Barbara and her family are almost there, and Agador is dressed but barefoot. Agador very matter of factly explains to Val that he does not wear shoes because they make him fall down. What is that?? That was the last thing I expected him to say, and I know it doesn’t translate all that well to text, but it was so fucking funny. And of course, so was the inevitable shot of Agador falling on his face because of his shoes.

The Birdcage is great because its sensitive. Armand and Albert are overwhelming, but they’re also obviously in love and have quiet, sweet moments together. I never got the impression that this film is supposed to be some kind of commentary on homosexuality, mostly because it focuses so tightly on just a few characters. I also never got that impression because if you do think that this movie is a critique on homosexuality, then it’s just as much of a critique (if not more) of conservative Americans. It is so great.

Christopher

I remember watching this a few times as a kid and thinking it was one of the funniest movies I had ever seen. It was a good feeling when we went to see this and it was still great! I think I got most of it as a kid but as an adult I definitely got a lot more of the jokes. For example, as a kid, I don’t think I got the craziness of Gene Hackman’s character. I think I just always thought of him as a normal adult? But looking at that now, that kind of makes me look like I thought all adults were insane. This movie is so funny and if you have not seen it, please do it now! I don’t think I’ve ever seen the original but based off of Elizabeth’s reaction to the film I think we might be seeing that soon.

OLD DOGS (2009)

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Elizabeth

You know a movie is bad and not memorable when two people start watching it thinking they’re totally different movies. Chris thought Old Dogs was Wild Hogs (they do have the same director, though) and I thought Old Dogs was The Shaggy Dog. Sooo how bad does a movie have to be to be mistaken for two different also bad movies?

Pretty bad, because Old Dogs is insanely terrible. Granted, for the first 45 minutes or so I was waiting for either Dan (Robin Williams) or Charlie (John Travolta) or both to turn into dogs, so that was sort of distracting. But I think it somehow would have still made more sense than the real movie. Dan and Charlie are bachelors, or at least that’s what they say. I’m convinced that they’re just gay. I’m basing this not on the fact that they’re just two guys who are friends, but rather on the fact that they appear to be two guys who are life partners and in love. But, I guess not. Dan discovers that when he had a one-night stand with Vicki (Kelly Preston) seven years ago, she ended up having twins by him that are now 7. And now Vicki has to go to jail for 3 weeks for trespassing. After other plans fall through, Dan agrees to watch the kids. And Vicki accepts? Even though she barely knows this guy. But then again, the kids don’t know him at all and when they see him, they immediately run to him screaming “Daddy!” So obviously relationships don’t really matter in this world.

The majority of the movie is about Dan and Charlie hanging out with this kids. Dan and the kids move in with Charlie because Dan’s condo is only for adults. They do some crazy, sort of fucked up shit. Case in point: the most disturbing scene in the movie. Apparently, Dan’s son, Zach, has always dreamed of going to a men’s restroom alone, but can’t because he doesn’t have a dad. Okay. So Dan takes him to a men’s public restroom with stalls. Okay, no big deal. But then, Dan stands in the stall with Zach while Zach sits on the toilet. Ehhhh, what? Taking a kid to the bathroom is one thing, but why the fuck is he standing in the stall with this half-naked, pooping child that he just met? It’s insane and Dan should have been arrested, the end.

There’s also a scene where Bernie Mac plays a master puppeteer and develops a “human puppet suit,” which he lets Dan use so Bernie Mac can control his body while Dan has a make believe tea party with his daughter, because Dan feels too incapable of doing it himself. Uhhhhh. There’s also a scene where they take the kids to some kind of fucked up Boy Scout camp, with Matt Dillon giving the only bit of comedy ever in this movie. There’s also a scene where Dan gets locked in a spray tan chamber and ends up, essentially, in blackface.

THIS MOVIE IS GREAT!

Christopher

I totally thought this movie was Wild Hogs before we watched it. And I know Elizabeth thought it was something else too. So when we sat down to watch this my hopes that this movie might just be boring quickly disappeared, this movie is beyond terrible. It’s so insane!!! It has a mom going to jail, Robin Williams watching a kid shit, and the last appearance of Bernie Mac.

This movie is a complete mess and it’s one that gets worse with every scene. Watch this if you have the time!

JACK (1996)

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Christopher

Maybe my favorite Coppola movie!

At the very end of the movie it ends with an old 80 year old Jack piling into a van with his other kid buddies and driving down a road, out of sight. I like to think that this is a metaphor for Jack’s death and him taking all his friends with him . . . Jack is actually a murderer.

Elizabeth

Jack is weird. The titular character, played by Robin Williams, has a disorder that causes him to age four times the normal rate. So he’s 10 years old stuck in the body of a 40 year old. This presents multiple problems right away. First of all, Robin Williams seems to just essentially play Robin Williams. This, plus the fact that everyone treats him as a child, just makes him come off as mentally retarded. In fact, it was extremely difficult for me to keep remembering that he was supposed to actually be 10, not just retarded. Having a conflict like that tends to take away from the emotional pull it’s supposed to have.

I saw this movie when I was a kid and pretty much thought it was devastating. I guess being a child watching a movie that is essentially about a child with a terminal illness is kind of disturbing. As an adult though, the pointlessness of Jack is so overwhelming that I found it hard to enjoy. That, and, since it is a movie about 10 year old boys, some parts were so disgusting, I couldn’t even watch the screen. There are also some weird sexual themes involving Fran Drescher and Jennifer Lopez, which was just kind of unpleasant.

Another win for the Coppola family!